YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
