trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
