he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
