Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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