My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
