I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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