Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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