I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
