Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
