I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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