She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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