All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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