mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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