Sry I called you an 8
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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