She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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