if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
