yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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