you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
