She's JV to your varsity
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
