OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
