In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
