i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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