put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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