Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
