he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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