I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
