I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
