her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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