I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the day after is always just damage control
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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