I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
