just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
