Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize