sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We don't watch enough power rangers
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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