This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
