pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
