i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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