The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
