Got a toothbrush?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
PANTIES FOUND
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
