More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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