Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize