I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
