This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
