dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
