Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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