i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize