You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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