the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We got so high we made milksteak
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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