i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
