he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
