Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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