I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
