so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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