Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize