I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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