whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
