You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
