Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
