maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
