She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
