Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i dont even know how to be here
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
