We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I sprained my soul last night
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
