that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
