I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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