WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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