I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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