there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
