Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize