just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
