I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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