it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize